Just a short couple of months ago when Bella was diagnosed, Farmer Tom and I had a conversation where we agreed that when her quality of life was gone and her beautiful brown eyes looked at us in pain and not happiness, we would set her free. We thought we'd have more time to settle in to that decision, but hard as we tried, we were unable to change the outcome.
Very early on, Bella lost the use of her leg. Her days revolved around 5:00 am egg white omelets full of pain medication, to finding a shady place to lay during the day, and then waiting until we could get home to give her another pain relieving snack in the evening. We kept her in the cool house as much as possible, provided every creature comfort that we could think of, and loved her as hard as we could. Enough to make up for the years of living she would never see? I hope so.
When we received the news that the treatments had failed to slow the progression of her cancer, we shifted gears and began the process of saying goodbye. I took some time off of work and we just soaked up as much of her hugs and tail wags as she offered.
She always did have so much love to give, we were often just too busy to stop and receive it. Life is tricky that way. Balancing our responsibilities with the things that bring us pleasure. Sometimes the scale tips too far in one direction and you have to frantically paddle back to the other side only to find the game has changed and now you are losing something you took for granted. Something permanent. Something impossible. Bella.
RIP Sweet Baby Girl. We will miss you every day we have left on this earth, until we meet again.
TPF Readers, as hard as it has been to share this experience, we have felt your love and support along the way. You have walked with us through it and with time I know you will meet us on the other side of our grief. We thank you for your patience and compassion during this difficult time.
~Tom and Suzy